Want to sound and feel more confident? Ditch these 11
phrases from your vocabulary, say psychologists.
Task 1
You might want to explore the meaning and use of the term 'Ditch' as a noun or verb.
Task 2
1. “I have to do that.”
2. “I can’t do that.”
3. “I should do that.”
4. “Why is this happening to me?”
5. “I never should have.”
6. “I failed.”
7 . “If only I had done [X].”
8. “This is too complicated.”
9. “It’s not fair.”
10. “It’s never going to change.”
11. “Never” (or “always”)
Psychologists’ Suggestions (Possible Answers)
1. “I have to do that.”
What to say instead: “I get to do that.” Swapping that one
little word will change your attitude in a big way. It makes you look at
something as an opportunity, rather than an obligation. Even if the task is
unpleasant, it can teach you new lessons and open new doors.
2. “I can’t do that.”
What to say instead: “I can try to do that.” Don’t admit
defeat before you’ve begun! When you tell yourself that you can try, you’re not
only giving yourself a chance to accomplish something, you’re also not setting
up excessively high expectations, which makes it easier to actually succeed.
3. “I should do that.”
What to say instead: “I will do that.” (Or “won’t do,”
depending on your mindset). “Should” is a controlling word, and it puts
pressure on us. So put yourself back in charge. Drop the “should” and make
yourself the decision-maker by choosing whether or not do something on your own
terms.
4. “Why is this happening to me?”
What to say instead: “What am I learning from this?” When
you ask yourself what you’re learning, you turn something that’s bugging or
upsetting you into something that can lead you to better things. You’re not
complaining; you’re simply finding the good in what might be a difficult time.
5. “I never should have.”
What to say instead: “Because I did that, I now know [X].” When
you rephrase this thought, you begin to think about the good things that
happened because you did something that you thought you shouldn’t have. Maybe
you met someone you wouldn’t have met, or you discovered something wonderful
about yourself.
6. “I failed.”
What to say instead: “This attempt didn’t work.”So maybe
something you tried to didn’t turn out the way you expected. You didn’t get
that new client, or you didn’t get the promotion you wanted. But if you tell
yourself that you failed, end of story, you’re being unfair to yourself.
Remember that there will be other opportunities.
7 . “If only I had done [X].”
What to say instead: Nothing! We’ve all had our “if only”
moments. “If only I had spoken up at that meeting with my idea,” or “If only I
hadn’t answered that interview question that way.” But this is dead-end
thinking. You’re not learning from the past, you’re just lamenting and making
excuses.
8. “This is too complicated.”
What to say instead: “I don’t understand this right now.”